I've been vacillating all weekend between "que sera, sera" and "Please let this cycle work ... I can't do it again." There seem to be tons of examples around the web of people who had one less-than-ideal doubling rate and then went on to have healthy pregnancies. There are also tons of examples of people who went on to miscarry. This time tomorrow, we'll at least have another number to add into the mix.
The trouble is, I seem to have used up all of my resilience. At each step in this IVF cycle, things have gone basically well. Not just basically -- better than we'd hoped. But as soon as something doesn't go perfectly, I'm lost. Paralyzed with fear. Every time in the past, the first less-than-perfect milestone has been a marker for eventual failure.
The web says doubling within 48-72 hours is acceptable, but there seems to be a clear message (emphasized by my RE's nurse) that they really want to see doubling within 48 hours.
SF is a paragon of strength here. He believes if not this time, then surely the next. I'm just hoping to be able to rely on his strength over the next day or so, fearing that I may need to save my own for later.
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5 comments:
Hope you don't mind my droping bye but just wanted to wish you good luck for your next beta.
Thank you, shazz.
JF, look at it like this. Everything we've seen so far says 72 hour doubling is "adequate", so Friday was hardly a catastrophe. That's what the results you've found on the Internet support as well. Sure, for some of those people it didn't work out, but that was always a possibility even if the doubling had been a picture perfect 48 hours.
If I'm not mistaken, this is the second best we've done at this so far. That means that we've never gotten this far and not made it to a positive ultrasound. And that other time everything started late, which your research shows makes it automatically more shaky. And we weren't using all the fancy pregnancy-supporting drugs we're using this time.
So it seems to me there is every reason to still be optimistic this time. And to think that even if it doesn't, we're still making very real progress in the big picture.
SF, you are a terrific partner for JF in this journey. I wish I had had as much support! We're all pulling for you both!
Oh, I hate the numbers game. I hope for some good news.
Even if you get bad news, I like staying positive for next time. Sometimes it is the best you can do.
Eagerly waiting your update....
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